When I became pregnant, I was 33 years old. At first, I worried and then I felt happy especially when I took the pregnancy test. My German husband was a little bit surprised but pleased. As usual in his German way of expressing emotions, he said “Interessant” which means he was looking forward to the many changes in our married life. He gave me a hug and that’s it. Period.
I felt a little disappointed because I was expecting the Filipino way of showing emotions like jumping with joy or being extra sweet suddenly and asking me not to make any sudden movements anymore or carrying me. Okey, the third is a little bit melodramatic, product of too many Holywood films.
Of course, it was exaggerated but I was expecting sweeter words and not a reaction from a baby-making experiment gone successful. Or an interesting phenomenon analysed from the scientific and technical perspective of a German mind. Egal, I wanted sweet promises and praises, and the likes. I began to think like all pregnant woman: twistedly. Perhaps he said he wanted the baby, but really he doesn’t like it. Darker thoughts entered my mind.
But then, after a few days, I saw some small efforts from my husband, which surprised and delighted me. He didn’t listen to classic music; he was more of a U2 fan. One breakfast morning he turned the radio on to classic music. I raised my eyebrows questioningly and in a matter-of-fact voice he said that it’s good for the baby. I wondered if a month old baby in the womb has developed its hearing sense. I kept quiet.
He also began to cut newspaper articles about babies. He said he would want to have materials that we might need. He also cleaned the refrigerator regularly throwing away food that would soon expire and always asking me to be very careful with what I eat. When we visited his friend, and there was a cute dog that I wanted to touch. He asked me not to touch it because it is so full bacteria. If that was not love and concern from an obsessive-compulsive man, I don’t know what it is.
I have certain expectations from my German husband on how he should be reacting with the baby. However, I discovered that he has his own ways of saying he cares about the baby. He wanted everything to be organized, that’s how he functions. The day I had an ultrasound by the doctor confirmed my feelings. My husband staring at the small unclear figure at the computer screen suddenly looked at me with wonder in his eyes.
This time, all my doubts flew away.